I Miss You, I'm So Sorry
by themem0ry
Summary: Lily and James fight after James announces he slept with her best friend, how will Lily deal with it? (Short songfic to the song Lullabies by All Time Low. Self harm and suicide, don't read if triggered. First fic, let me know if you like it? :) Had this idea for a while and wanted to try it out. I don't own ATL or HP)


**SELF HARM AND SUICIDE, DO NOT READ IF IT WILL TRIGGER YOU, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.**

**I don't own HP or All Time Low's song Lullabies, though I wish I did because I absolutely love ATL. Read and review?**

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_Make it a sweet, sweet goodbye_

'WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU SLEPT WITH DORCAS MEADOWES?!' Lily raised her voice loudly at her boyfriend, James Potter.

'IT WAS A MISTAKE LILY, I TOLD YOU!' James screamed back, equally as loud.

_It could be for the last time and it's not right_

'You know what James, we're over. Over!' Lily sobbed, before rushing out of the room. She gave one last look over her shoulder before whispering harshly, 'I hope you choke in your sleep.'

_"Don't let yourself get in over your head," he said_

Everyone said they were the best couple Hogwarts had ever seen. They were destined to be together, fate had chosen them. But they were always wary. They never let themselves get in too deep.

_Alone and far from home we'll find you..._

This was why. It was as though they could sense that something awful would happen. They were most definitely not the 'it' couple anymore.

_Dead - Like a candle you burned out_

Lily cried up in the astronomy tower, not even trying to keep her sobs quiet. She reminded herself of all the memories she and James had shared, the good and the bad. She found herself missing him more than she should.

_Spill the wax over the spaces left in place of angry words_

She knew, however, that it was too late. They'd never be the same. Never.

_Scream - To be heard, like you needed any more attention_

It was as though she didn't control what came next. Her broke her heart and she had no other way to deal with this. She hadn't done it in years. She pulled out the knife she used for Potions and slowly delicately made a line across her wrist. After that, she lost control. She was soon slitting open old scars, along with cutting fresh ones. Then, when she ran out of space on her arms, she began on her legs. There was nothing more to lose, after all.

_Throw the bottle break the door and disappear_

She looked up at the moon visible on the other side of the Astronomy tower window. She walked over to the window, almost afraid. Then, she knew what she had to do. She couldn't do this anymore.

_Sing me to sleep, I'll see you in my dreams_

She pulled out a piece of parchment and wrote down a quick note in a scrawl that barely resembled her own.

_Waiting to say, "I miss you. I'm so sorry."_

**To my dear friends and family, even James.**

**I love you so very much.**

**Lily Marie Evans.**

She whispered, 'I miss you, James. I'm so sorry,' closed her eyes, and flung herself off of the Astronomy tower, parchment still clutched in her hand.

* * *

They found her body the next day. No one knew why Lily Evans, Head Girl, O-grade student, would ever see reason to harm or even kill herself. All but James. James knew why she felt the need of release, why she felt like she couldn't go on.

He refused to leave her, even when they moved her into the Hospital Wing in a body bag. The only words that ever left his lips that day were, 'It's my fault. I killed her. I'm so sorry.'

That is when he knew what he had to do.

* * *

They found his body the next day. It was lying at the bottom of the Astronomy Tower. Everyone knew why he'd done it, of course. Even when she hated him, he never let her be alone. He wanted to be with her.

James was found with one single, solitary note in his hand.

**Forever's never seemed so long as when you're not around it's like a piece of me is missing. **

**Now I can be with her forever.**

**James Potter. **

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**That's my first fanfic ever guys! It's kind of dark, but I've had this idea for a while and wanted to try it. And just to get this out, I don't support SH and suicide at all, I've been there, done that but I'd hate to think of any of you doing it, so please, please, please don't do it! **

**It'd make my day if you reviewed :) xx**


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